It’s never too late to love life and embrace all its gifts with gratitude.
Life doesn’t always go as planned. Stress, uncertainty, difficulties, and disappointments can overshadow joyful moments and pleasant emotions. But that’s life—multifaceted, ever-changing, with its twists and surprises. Whether we turn these experiences to our advantage depends entirely on us.
At 89 years old, Japanese psychiatrist Tsuneko Nakamura shares her wisdom and personal experiences on how to find inner peace even during the most challenging times. Spoiler alert: She believes that peace is not just the absence of problems but also the ability to remain flexible and move forward, no matter what.
1. Don’t Undermine Your Efforts
Many of us ask ourselves, “Why am I working so hard?” Nakamura encourages us to gather the courage to answer simply: “I work to feed myself.” There’s no shame in that, she notes. Personal growth and grand dreams—like owning luxury homes or fast cars—are wonderful, but first, we must meet our basic needs.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Often, we compare ourselves to others and engage in self-criticism, which is ultimately harmful. Nakamura urges us to let go of destructive thoughts and just be ourselves. “The words ‘should be’ are like unnecessary baggage,” she says. Focus on your own life, your achievements, desires, and goals.
3. Let Go of Control
Stop trying to control everything, as you never know when luck might strike. Nakamura firmly believes, “Opportunities often come unexpectedly.” Open yourself up to the world’s riches and possibilities, and soon you’ll realize how liberating it can be to go with the flow without overthinking every step.
4. Keep Moving Forward
During tough times, it’s crucial not to panic or come to a halt, says Nakamura. The more you focus on work or essential tasks, the less space there is for intrusive, negative thoughts. Don’t let despair take over your emotional well-being.
5. Don’t Isolate Yourself
In difficult times, connecting with others becomes even more important. Spending time with a partner, meeting empathetic friends and family, or dining with thoughtful coworkers can significantly boost your mood and recharge your energy. Share your feelings with others and don’t hesitate to ask for support.
6. Create Enjoyable Rituals
Maintaining inner peace requires knowing how to switch off from work after your tasks are done. “Don’t think about work during your off-hours,” advises Nakamura. Develop rituals that help you relax both mentally and physically. This could be anything—an evening walk, reading, or watching lighthearted comedies. The key is that it should make you feel comfortable and relaxed.
7. Find a Hobby
The more hobbies you have, the less time there is for negative thoughts. “Learn something new, engage in sports, or find other enjoyable activities,” Nakamura recommends. Join a book club, take yoga classes, or start learning a new language—the options are endless.
8. Value Time
And finally, remember that time is the best healer. It may not work instantly, but it does help heal the soul. Keep in mind this crucial “time” rule: Don’t waste precious moments on negative thoughts or worries about the past. Accumulate positive experiences and let time work for you, not against you.
By following these principles, you can find balance and calm, even in the most turbulent times.