Former FBI special agent Jack Schafer, known for his book The Like Switch, reveals communication cues that can help you decode someone’s affection for you. Here’s how to identify hidden signs of attraction using expert techniques.
1. Dilated Pupils
One of the clearest signs of attraction is dilated pupils. When someone sees someone they like, their pupils may involuntarily dilate. This can be a subtle cue, but if you learn to recognize it, you’ll be able to pick up on signs of interest that are often overlooked. Note that this is easier to spot in people with light-colored eyes than in those with dark-colored eyes.
Fun fact: Cleopatra used belladonna drops to artificially dilate her pupils, enhancing her allure.
2. Eye Contact
People naturally tend to make more eye contact with those they are attracted to. Eye contact has always been one of the most effective non-verbal ways to communicate friendliness and interest. If someone holds your gaze for a brief moment, smiles, and then looks away, it’s a strong sign that they find you appealing.
Conversely, a prolonged and intense stare can signal aggression, especially with strangers. However, between partners, sustained eye contact often indicates deep feelings and connection.
3. Tilted Head
Research has shown that a tilted head during conversation makes someone appear more attractive and engaged. If your conversation partner tilts their head towards you, it’s a subtle but significant sign of interest.
This gesture is seen as revealing vulnerability, as it exposes the carotid artery on the side of the neck, a vital part of the circulatory system. In evolutionary terms, exposing this part of the body signals trust and non-aggression.
4. Raised Eyebrows
Spend some time observing people at places like airports or train stations as they greet loved ones. You’ll notice a common gesture: raised eyebrows. When people are pleased to see someone they like, their eyebrows may briefly lift. This micro-expression lasts only about a sixth of a second but is a powerful indicator of attraction and interest.
5. Genuine Smile
Finally, a genuine smile is the ultimate indicator of affection. The key to distinguishing a real smile from a fake one lies in the eyes. An authentic smile involves not only upturned corners of the mouth but also the movement of the cheek muscles, creating crow’s feet around the eyes. If a smile doesn’t involve the eyes and cheek muscles, it may be forced or insincere.
By observing these subtle yet telling signals, you can gain insight into someone’s true feelings without needing a word to be spoken.