We all want to quickly connect with those around us and understand the emotions they are experiencing. This ability is often more easily recognized by individuals with high emotional intelligence (EQ).
Let’s briefly discuss EQ. According to this concept, it consists of four main components or skills:
- Awareness of your own emotions
- Awareness of others’ emotions
- Managing your own emotions
- Managing others’ emotions
When these skills are equally well-developed, it indicates a high level of emotional intelligence.
The concept of EQ was first introduced by Columbia University psychology professor Michael Beldoch in 1964, and later refined by researchers John Mayer and Peter Salovey in 1990. They defined emotional intelligence as “the ability to regulate emotions and feelings and use them to guide one’s behavior.”
Why Is High EQ Beneficial?
A high level of EQ brings many advantages, including effective communication, the ability to establish healthy relationships, resolve conflicts smoothly, and even motivate oneself and others.
If you’re eager to assess your own level of this valuable skill but find it challenging to evaluate on your own, don’t worry. Harvard researcher Jenny Wu has identified three key skills that people with high emotional intelligence commonly use. Pay attention to these during conversations to better understand yourself.
1. They Don’t Hide Their Personal Mistakes and Failures
Talking about your own mistakes requires great courage. Typically, people with high emotional intelligence possess this skill because they don’t see it as a vulnerability. They understand that trying to be perfect for everyone is a goal doomed to fail.
These individuals recognize that mistakes are just one aspect of who they are, and they view any setbacks as a springboard for future growth. They also realize that negative experiences, while challenging, can provide valuable lessons not only for themselves but for others as well.
2. They Show Genuine Interest
The ability to engage in meaningful conversations is a hallmark of those with high EQ. Their strong sense of empathy allows them to easily read others’ emotions and encourages them to delve deeper into understanding the person they are talking to.
Such individuals aren’t shy about asking follow-up questions that invite detailed responses. These questions not only demonstrate a genuine interest in the person’s inner world but also a willingness to offer help if needed. This interaction boosts the self-esteem of the person they are talking to and increases their sense of satisfaction, as they feel heard and appreciated.
3. They Adapt to the Tone of Voice and Body Language
This isn’t about manipulation, but rather an instinctive ability to read and match the tone and body language of the person they are conversing with. People with high emotional intelligence naturally adjust to their conversation partner’s communication style.
This ability helps them build rapport and foster strong relationships. It’s no surprise, as being in a calm environment is much more comfortable for most people than trying to match the energy of an active extrovert.
Emotional intelligence is a powerful tool for navigating social interactions. By being aware of your own emotions and those of others, managing these emotions effectively, and adapting to the nuances of communication, you can create meaningful connections and foster positive relationships in both personal and professional settings.